Split film review (2016)- by Double Toasted

Full text transcript of the Split film review

Wow. Well, I don’t have a whole lot to say other than Cory Goodman, I love you from the bottom of my heart.

Don’t touch me.

You know, we just went to see split. Mm hmm. The latest in Night Shyamalan joined people like fuck that do you know is in there. How about how about that twist? Fuck you. You know, the reason people are saying and I can’t really blame them is because the guy’s been letting people down. You know, the reason why and as a marketing guy, you should know that he was hyped up. Oh, man. You see that?

Newbrough Spielberg, you know. Oh, yeah, I remember. You know, Newsweek cover. Oh, yeah. The new bilberry. Yes. Bill Burns. I’m familiar with that. NuVasive, the successor to Hitchcock. And he says, I have a hard enough being a Jew. I don’t wanna be that guy. But he was high Hollywood.

Yeah, no, he’s a he’s a man. You know, that’s the new Spielberg right there. He made the sixth sense. And people just said, man, you know what what movie you want to make next and how much it’s going to cost. Well, I don’t worry about ticket check, man.

I put no numbers in there. You yeah. Yeah. Go to the bank and whatever you need, you take it and work. For some people, six cents was was cool then we had unbreakable, unbreakable except for the very end. Amazing film. And then he got the signs and at that point say, you know, I’m to see the cracks in the film is that it was at that point I realized something was wrong because I treated him like he was brown.

Jesus Brown, which I’m all I’m all that you.

Jesus is what my mom. But no, you know, people like, oh, he can’t do no wrong size. Had a movie with aliens in it that had hands but couldn’t open doors.

They were allergic to water and it came to a planet that was 70 to 80 percent water, 70, 80 percent. A lot of questions. Yeah. Yeah. See it from space. You look at Earth from space, you like him. That is shit is covered in water. I thought it was a big ass tarp that we had exactly answered all these questions.

Yeah. They flew through the clouds. They must have been like oh yeah, allergy was astroturfing.

It could throw some shit. Easley’s like how come they can’t open doors. Well fuck man, they are taking arthritis, anything. How do they get out of your old space ship. Don’t worry about it. Yeah but I’ll feel alien on that roof. Been getting all swollen shit looking down at people.

Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah. Try to tell your science.

Wasn’t it then came across. We had to the village. Everybody knew Rinn that when they predict the end of the movie by the trailer they say it’s done. Man is doing is gone until he started like dropping the twist and you did a few other films that showed that yeah.

His time is gone. But he said hold on now I got something new for you because you see I got I got great actor James McAvoy in the movie James McAvoy and split. He plays a guy. With multiple personalities and a lot of people say, well, you know, that’s cool, man, you know, I’ve seen it before, but he said, nah, look, in some movies you get Psycho. You got one split personality. You know, some of the movies where you might get to, you might get three. But for the price of a movie ticket to come into my film, I’m not going to give you 10, I’m not giving you 12, I’m giving you a whopping twenty three personalities like God damn, that’s a lot of personnel.

That’s a bargain. 30 cents an actor.

Yeah, the Costco was just 30 cents or whatever. Just back if I worked it out where he got paid that many times. Showed up. What about meatballs. Yeah. I mean most people said her name is not Hedwig’s.

Oh, I didn’t get my check. I didn’t get my check. I think it makes you look nice. I’m like, wait a minute. But. But with this.

The story is, what was he doing in personality’s made he got so many, you can’t use all of them. Well, he was able to use at least one and knock out at noon and take his daughter and two other chicks, take them to a basement somewhere with nobody knows where they are, brings them back. And these girls are freaked the hell out, man. You know, they kidnap. They don’t know what’s going to happen. They’re going to die or what. But the real shit starts when one dude comes in and says, hey, hold on. I’ll tell you why you’re here. I’ll be right back. He leaves. Come to an address. I hold on. I wanna introduce you to somebody else. Motherfucker comes in dressed like a little boy.

Hi, everybody. Like, what the fuck is going on? Did he, like, kidnap us to do dinner theater?

Yeah. The world is exactly welcome to Kevin’s improv, Nancy.

No, it turns out that each one of these personalities has some agenda for these girls, some ulterior motive, some dangerous, some not so clear. But all of it seems very threatening. And that is The Night Shyamalan that I know. He putting it all out there. He’s kind of keeping you in suspense the whole time. And as I was saying, this is not because some people are. Oh, schizophrenia. That’s my favorite genre. Not hold on. Hold on.

As someone with schizophrenia, I don’t know. I have schizophrenia movies, not me.

But this is not schizophrenia. Dr. Corey has a term for this is actually this is this is this social dis associative. Yeah. This dissociative identity disorder. My colleague here, Dr. Thomas. Dr. Tom, schizophrenia is when you hear voices. Yeah. And did is when the voices are actual people when you are the voice. Yeah. Well you can see there. Yeah. In.

Oh. With this, it’s.

It seems these personalities are without a doubt the star of the movie, I mean, James McAvoy in the film, he’s so fucking crazy, the characters look great.

They actually have to stop the movie to let him make appointments to go see a shrink in the middle of. He has about four appointments. They just stop and he goes to talk to his doctor.

And those scenes are actually even though it seems like the movie stop and those scenes add more than what you usually expect in this film.

Barry is an extroverted leader. Yes, I am.

Are you these are the personalities.

I think I’m talking to Dennis as clever, but I’m not Dennis and you and Patricia have been banned from the light for quite a while now. Please believe me, I’m Barry.

And that’s the scary thing about these conversations, because that’s Barry. Barry is actually one of the most likable personalities that he that that he has. Barry is a gay fashion designer. And even though Barry seems cool, all these dudes at the end of the conversation, he always got that crazy stare, them crazy eyes, that hard breathing. You know, none of none of these personalities are really that stable. And it’s and there’s, as you said, just 23 of them that he has he’s got a disorder and he has personalities that have disorders themselves. You know, they he has children in him as you see gay men and women in diabetics.

That’s right. That he did so crazy and changes his physical help at any time, depending on what personality it is. You know, one time he can eat all the candy he wants.

Next thing I take sugar, you know, take you know why I hedwig’s eating all the sugar like now do. No, I’m not that person at all. Anybody I got to take my butt.

Yeah. And that includes women. He’s not allowed to touch you. He knows that.

Mm hmm.

By the way, yeah, he was talking about that outfit earlier. Man Yeah.

With that that 70s sweater and in that chain, because if I can just take a little little detail right here just for a moment, I was telling them early. This is why in my shop and I was cool with me because I think I taste the movies like Ernie Hudson. You know, the Black Ghostbuster was in a movie a long time ago called And you’ll probably know this is one of my favorite blaxploitation films, one of my favorite movies of the Human Tornado.

And it had in the movie dressed like James McAvoy in that sweater and that turtleneck and that necklace, Ernie Hudson dress the same exact way.

In fact, he’s like, give me back my sweater. Yes. Right before he kidnapped those girls in the background. A little baby here, you know. Yeah. Surprised to see Mr. Clean all these characters.

You know, they they have a side to them that work on multiple levels. I mean, I know it’s not no pun. And it’s weird how that, you know, we talk about multiple personalities. These these characters actually have different multiple effects on you. But the character that gave me the most as far as the value for my 30 cents was Hedwig. Hedwig is the child, a nine year old boy. And on the one hand, it’s cool because Hedwig and James McAvoy performances as Hedwig. You feel for him. He’s a real child. When his feelings are hurt, he really cries. He’s scared that those are the person that is going to beat his ass.

Yeah, you say something like, my brain can’t kick my ass.

But Hedwig, also, when you feel bad for him at the same time, Heatherwick is like a mentally challenged person. You know, he’s he might have the mind of a child, but when you get down to it, Hedwig is a man with the power of a man like Solomon Grundy.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, like that. Yeah. Yeah.

Helwig also has access to adult weapons. And as we were talking about earlier, here’s a scene where we’re going to talk about her in a minute. The actress, Anna Taylor Joy, who plays Casey in the movie. There’s a point where Hedwig is emotionally so vulnerable that he’s the one that’s gonna go off on your ass the quickest. Yeah, you know, those others will be like, all right, you know what?

I’m trying to be adult. I’m trying to think about two characters said I’m trying to be nice to you fucking asshole.

But but Hedwig is the one is like asking you to do some. I think you, my friend, don’t do it because it’s a portrayal as when the girl tries to escape with a walkie talkie. He tells you not to talk into.

Hello, hello. Hello. My name is Casey. He was in early May. I need to go.

But this is the role of a lifetime for an actor man, because they get to do different genders, sexualities, they get to do different accents. You know, it’s and and I’ll be honest with you, if these characters if if this was one actor playing one character and one movie. Yeah. It would be bad. Would be really over the top. It would be over the top. It would be cheesy.

It would be unless it was a comedy medium for comedy would be a stretch. But because James McAvoy seizes these roles and does them to the fullest and he’s having a lot of fun with the and he’s in his he’s you could tell that he’s out to make you believe this. And I and and I did I bought into all these characters that he saw and we don’t get all 23 of them, you know, because that’s that would be another two hours. But but, you know, we get to like about a good six or seven of them, some in small bites. What a gyp.

No, I’m sure we’ll get that DC director’s cut. Yeah, I know everybody does want to be fun to be actually paid the Joker, right? Yeah, right. Well, he came out of a wheelchair. He was Doctor Xavier. Oh, come on, man. I’ve seen this shit. All right. You got that ball head.

But what do you what do you think? You were making some good points earlier.

Like you said, you brought back up that he does make gives you a feel kind of sympathetic for him with all of these characters, because when these evil or villainous people come out, like you could tell, there’s something wrong going on with them. I think Patricia, the the female he plays has OCD, have the one girl with diabetes. You have Dennis has OCD. Yeah, he has it as well as members. She freaks out about the sandwich. Yeah. So yeah. Like all these people have something wrong with them outside of them having died. So he does a great job of actually making, making you feel sympathetic for him and all these other personalities. But one of the big standouts for me was and Taylor Taylor Joy, because during this whole time she’s going through something and has our own little side story that makes you understand and empathize with her. But. All right. We got to. Rooting for her as a protagonist, and that’s something that most horror movies, they don’t get right. It seems like these people want to die like in the right by man. Yeah. So, yeah, she has her own sad story in the way she interacts with her two other captives.

I thought it was really cool, you know, and that’s the thing about her man annotator joye’s. She’s just got to look. Oh, I was saying earlier, like, she’s she’s she’s weird looking but so weird that she’s hot, you know. I mean, I mean, I remember when OK, no, Corin Goodwin and I, we did our research, we saw the witch and I said I said, I don’t care what you think about me, Corey. I had to look up to make sure she was she was legally like, yeah, I did too. Yeah.

The second we got we went to lunch after the movie. You got the line. I was like, all right, good. Yeah, yeah. We good. Because she got nude in the movie and everything was like, hey man, y’all did this, not us.

But but in the movie she’s so she is she does have that look where first of all these girls that she’s with the way doesn’t like, they’re excited. They having the right response. She’s the one that’s way too quiet. Right. And she’s having all these flashbacks about going on hunting trips. And we’re like, OK, I’m freaked out by Kevin. Yeah, but you ain’t making me feel too good either. Yeah.

This whole time you’re watching it, it’s kind of the mystery of these two mysterious people like this person. Obviously, they have twenty three personalities in here. But then you see this one girl that’s just acting really calm in this situation. So you’re like, well, wait. She involved with this that she’s working. Is you working with James McAvoy? She, you know, just tricking these girls to line them up for whatever he’s going to do. Yeah. Like she’s bait or something. Yeah. You have, like, an immovable object and an unstoppable force meeting each other. All right. Which one are they going to like? Which one’s going to prevail? You start really good about that.

You start picking up some parallels between them. Two, it’s clear that they both have gone through some trauma and we find out more about that as the movie goes on. And they both have a very enigmatic way about themselves. You never know really what they’re really thinking.

Yeah, yeah. It’s funny how when they get together, they both seem like, you know, they’re they’re both kind of on the same level. Yeah. They both hide these dark secrets and the other girl girls not to say that they’re bad. They’re not. They’re good to know the other girls in the movie. You’re more you were saying one of them is from age 17. She was the sister. And you have she was the best friend. The best friend. You’re right. It was Hayley Richardson, Claire. And you got Jessica. I’m sorry. I know it’s Jessica Soula as Marcia and Kim directed as Hannah. I think Kim Directors’, the the darker skinned girl.

And it’s not that that bad in the movie is just that they they have nothing really to do except scream, you know, be much like your you might be a victim.

Good luck for them.

But for even them not having much and just being victims, they don’t ever follow any of those stupid ass horror movie tropes.

Right. And then to some of the girls said is when they do try to do that stupid.

Horchow Yeah. Onya Taylor Joy’s character is like, shut the fuck up. You’re not taking this guy out with Corradi that you learn that.

Yes, he was there. Yeah, right next to the smoothie. Yeah, yeah. He pretty much said, y’all ain’t too young to do a goddamn thing. Yeah. Except die like me. We all sit together and enjoy it so we might as well break each other’s hair right now and have a slumber party because this is basically M. Night Shyamalan.

I mean, we’re saying good things that he’s doing. And the reason why I say that is because I think that this is in I know it is this is the elimination melon that I like the broadcast. M. Night Shyamalan, the warning got no money, you know. Hey, know, he really broke his Martinus. Tell him he’s he’s a celebrity. Broke, you know.

Right. Yeah. You know, like me. Yeah.

You know, and I’ll let you know, it just it just means that, you know, they gave him millions of dollars to make a movie. Now they write him a twenty dollar check and say, hey, good luck, but it works for him.

It’s like when he did the the visit, everybody had wrote him off. He does the visit at that performed well. It was tight. It was it was humorous but threatening. And it had a twist that was that really worked for us.

So it was it brought him back and it was cheap. It was a found footage movie. So really they gave us as a camera and the tape and said, go, yeah, you’re going to get to let’s make it perfect, you know? And it was scary. It was it was a dark comedy like this is and it worked on a lot of levels now, as opposed to something like when they had Big Willie and James Smith in space trying to do their shit at what is after Earth Day. And I don’t want to do this.

Like, I don’t want to you don’t want to do this, but I’m out like bad boy.

But little Jane went to space and never came back down. But the best thing we can do right now is if this is a hit list in July of last year, imagine him breaking into houses in Philadelphia.

I need to film here. Don’t go.

Oh, this is this is the basement living room. All right. I got to go with it. Turn off the lights. I brought my curtains. You’re not even using this camera using this. Yeah. Give me a call.

Oh, what a twist. But, you know, with the with this, Martin, we haven’t heard a lot from you.

What? What are you thinking so far?

Well, you guys covered so much of it, I brought up earlier Betty Buckley’s character as a shrink who could have easily have been a two dimensional character, which they do in so many movies where they’re just kind of condescending or you don’t like them and they don’t really get it. And we’ve already spent so much time with her in these sessions. You see that she really is a good psychiatrist. She knows him well. You understand why she doesn’t just immediately run to the cops. She you know, she is she she’s trying to get to know all the personalities and and kind of work them and just see where it goes. And, you know, it’s it’s little things like that that I think work really well. Yes. It’s it’s the small characters, the the all the girls. Yeah. You don’t hate the girls. You you root for them. You hate that they’re in a situation. It’s shot really well, you know, he’s he’s put out his his his his Hitchcock for goodness. And even storywise it’s it’s you know, it’s, it’s like Hitchcock and certainly James McEvoy’s is putting his full energy into this Mylie thing with this movie. Is it? I’m just not nearly as impressed with it as you guys are overall. As much as I like those things about it, the the air of of of threat was just not there. It was it was like maybe in the beginning, but then for so long I was like, oh oh. And it’s like, wait, OK, he’s he’s doing a lot of talk and it’s, it’s not ratcheting up, it’s kind of it’s kind of hitting sort of a funny because earlier we were talking about because that that threat was through the whole movie for me.

We were talking earlier about mind you even agree. We were talking about how their scenes were, what’s what’s the actress’s name here.

But very black and white covers those scenes where he goes to see her.

We’ve taken out the main movie. He’s having a a session with his psychiatrist. He’s going through the House and he’s thought, but, hey, so you live alone, right? You got nobody. And she’s scared because she’s like, oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You bring security. You’re you’re absolutely right.

But that happens early on and he doesn’t act on it. So he’s having more of these sessions. So it’s it’s not the tension is not ratcheting up and the girls aren’t stupid, but a lot of things they want to do, they they don’t follow through. And I was like, I would have been the right move. Like, yeah, you only had karate classes here and had all three of you jumped him. You’d had a much better chance than anything else you did. Yeah. And this movie in the beginning when she explained it, she like but he picked us up and like if he hits one of us, like we’re going to be out. Yeah. Right. But somebody is going to like this place. They could have split up and got away. It’s like three or six Romeo split up. I don’t want to reveal too much about OK, I got this, but there was a point where I was like, God damn it, girls, but I get it. You’re scared. And it went MacAvoy men. You’re right. It’s his movie. He’s pointing into all these personalities. I’ve just seen so many actors do this better in a way that I really bought it.

Like I didn’t feel any sympathy for him or any of those personalities. I’m like, man, fuck you.

I saw that coming when he was an alpha and he always was a one man. Fuck you.

Yeah, but but I mean, he’s you know, he’s he’s working it. I feel like the material is OK, but not strong. And I could list off a number of actors I’ve seen take something like this and really make me believe all the personnel. I think the reason they were kind of they were a little close to each. Yeah.

The thing that’s really going to make this for people, it’s going to make you roll your eyes. Are you going to cheer? And that’s the exact reaction we had in the movie tonight. They did some because even I, I said amen.

This I can’t take this. This move is losing his goddamn mind right now. I can’t shit. I can’t take this is stupid. And then they do something like, oh shit. Because you did the one thing right there. It all makes sense. Yeah.

Because you’re like well if it’s in this world ok it kind of.

Yeah but it’s still when you first see it, if you don’t stay there and you’re like, what the hell did he just say when they do this?

Because really it gouldman this movie goes out of his fucking mind.

It loses his logic. You ask a lot. It does. If I was only willing to give so much. Well, Martin, I gave at the office.

Well, you know what it ask a lot of me and I was able to give that, OK, you know, that’s fine.

I just happen to have some money in my pocket, you know, and I don’t think you want to.

And I’m writing I’m with you, man, because and I get where you guys are coming from, because at the very end, it does something that’s either going to make you go like, oh, I dig that. Or man, you just used to get out of jail free card.

I like that. Yeah, it’s one of those where I totally get it. But what if I had one of these. Yeah. Back to me.

I’m not, you know. Oh yeah.

But exactly in the crowd there was enough people to crowd there like yeah yeah. Yes. And I was and I didn’t do it out loud but I was one of those people I did inside. I’m like, it’s going to be people like the multiple personalities coming out right now.

You break it all, you know, which personally is it? I’m by myself. No wheels spin and no, no, I’m because I really am.

Man, you got a good personality today. I am going to give this. I have fun with it, man. And let me just say this. I’m not just giving it to the pass for the cheat or anything like that. This is they will put together above average sci fi horror film, the suspense, the the way this was constructed. This is expertly constructed. This is expertly directed. This is in my summerlong going back to his unbreakable in six sense days in. But that I’m going to give this a low, full price on to me.

Yeah, OK. Yeah, I agree with, I think almost everything you just said. I like the acting a lot here. It’s beautifully shot. I think. I think that slice of humble pie that he had did him some real good with this.

Yeah.

And the very end, like we said earlier, they’re going to roll with it or you’re going to justifiably be like, that’s kind of bullshit. I personally I rolled with it. It reminded me of days of future past. Remember the very end of that movie where it’s like, we don’t know, it’s not a spoiler is just like the movie’s way of saying, hey, thanks for sticking with me. I kind of got that vibe. I’m not saying, hey, thanks for sticking with me. So for that, I go to Fox. I like this a lot.

Oh wow. OK, got him confused. Yeah, I am. I mean everything you said is right with the one with the production value especially. It does look very beautiful because I’m sure he didn’t spend a lot of money on this. He just used, like you say, living rooms, basements and other small quarters to to, you know, give the crowd as well as the the captives in. There’s the feeling that you’re stuck with this guy. You better try to make the best of it or get the hell out of here because something’s going to happen. I think James McAvoy, I think every actor and actress and here had an amazing job. However, when it gets to that that that part, we all know where it turns. I thought it was goofier than don’t breathe.

And then and now that that’s it upset me so bad when it happened.

And then even with the very, very end of it where you get that, like you said, thanks for sticking with me. I’m not a fan of that very, very end from its inception. So I don’t give a shit about it being in this. So that didn’t really make me dear me to into this movie. I think from the production value, from the acting value, it’s great. But the story, especially towards the end, in the very end, is a really weak and he did use that get out of jail free card. Yeah, this is a real. Oh, okay.

Wow. Well, I don’t have a whole lot to say other than Corey Goodman.

I love you from the bottom of my heart. Don’t touch me. I’m sorry. Wrong person. Good alone.

Yes. Production value and acting well. Production value. Phenomenal for what he had to work with. Acting is it’s pretty good. I’m not going to say phenomenal, but, you know, it carries for what it is. It’s a better than what it looks like it’s going to be. But the third act I think is weak and so many points is there’s the ones I brought up and there’s so many I don’t even want to mention because the spoilers and I’m just sitting here thinking about them. Yeah, I’m like, yeah, this that is the location. There’s this and I’m I’m going to give it a rental with, with and it’s only slightly tentative and as much as it could go up if it follows through on the promise at last second. Yeah.

You know, because if it doesn’t know you know what, go ahead, keep your rental. You know, I wouldn’t put those hopes. Oh, they’re not. I’m not. They’re not there. Yeah. There’s no way in hell they’re going to do.

No, I mean I mean, it seems like you can buy it because of who you know. And it’s like, yeah, but if there’s no you know, then I want my money back.

You mean getting it then it’s a real.

Oh. I do love you.

I gave it a full price. That was really shocking. I was yeah, well, you know, swept up well with a smart smarts out of the room.

So, you know, I feel like he really does. And he’s got a plan like Jesus, he has a plan.

And when that thing at the very end happened, I was like, this is going to be divisive.

It is. It is. But again, that. All right, OK, I will spell the end of a Darth Vader, turns around, says, don’t choke on your ass.

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